You may know someone who is open to donating sperm, or engaging in a co-parenting arrangement with you. If your known donor is gay, it’s essential to consult your selected fertility clinic regarding their specific guidelines for gay sperm donors.
Opting for a known donor comes with its merits. Your child will have the chance to know their donor, eliminating any mystery or anxiety about their biological parent. However, drawbacks exist, such as the donor potentially deciding on limited or no contact with the child, or wanting more involvement than initially agreed upon.
Before embarking on the journey to conceive with a known donor, it’s advisable to review the “Known Donor Rights” chapter to understand the legal boundaries associated with using a known donor. Recent cases have seen the Family Court recognizing known donors as having legal parental status, particularly relevant for single lesbians.
Ethical guidelines from the National Health and Medical Research Council on assisted reproductive technology specify that clinics should not accept donations from individuals at an increased risk of transmittable diseases, including gay men.[i] Due to the elevated risk of HIV among gay men, some clinics may refuse their sperm or necessitate more extensive testing procedures, such as storing sperm for a minimum of 6 months before usage
Websites
Below are some websites that can help you source sperm:
In Australia:
International:
Facebook Groups
Sperm donation Australia – a closed Facebook group connecting women to donors:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/spermdonationaustralia/
Magazines
Gay and lesbian magazines often contain ads for sperm donors, or men who are wanting to donate sperm. They also contain gay men who are looking for surrogates or to enter into co-parenting relationships with lesbians.
Apps
These apps help to connect people to find egg and sperm donors as well as co-parents and surrogates:
Unknown Donors
If you opt for an unidentified donor, the process must take place at a fertility clinic. Across Australia, numerous clinics have access to sperm from donors whose identity is not disclosed.
The majority of fertility clinics in Australia source their sperm from international providers. This trend is likely driven by a significant scarcity of locally donated sperm available for use by lesbian couples. One contributing factor could be that in Australia, sperm donors do not receive financial compensation for their contributions, and donors have the option to specify whether their sperm is allocated to heterosexual couples, single women, or lesbians.
The existence of this arrangement for donors underscores a broader issue—Australian law, once again, appears to be less supportive and equitable toward lesbians seeking to start a family.
For valuable insights into the fertility clinic experience, consider seeking recommendations from individuals in your network who have undergone fertility treatments. Inquire about their satisfaction with the service and their overall experience.
You can explore the online platforms of sperm banks affiliated with fertility clinics to discover available donors. Typically, clinics provide their own curated lists of approximately 20 donors, with the selection rotating on a monthly basis.
Sperm Banks
Most popular sperm banks in Australia:
Conceiving a child using sperm from a donor in a sperm bank may strike many lesbians as an unconventional idea. While having a known donor offers more information compared to using a donor from a bank, there are distinct advantages to exploring this alternative. It simplifies the process, ensuring clarity regarding donor parental rights, which essentially means the donor has none.
Contrary to complete anonymity, Australian law stipulates that only men willing to have contact with the resulting children can donate sperm. For parents seeking a connection, a simple letter to the sperm bank initiates contact with the willing donor, presenting an appealing option for some lesbians.
Moreover, a donor sibling registry exists for parents who share the same donor’s sperm. I’ve come across instances where multiple families, connected by the same donor, have formed close bonds. They actively participate in each other’s lives, organizing events like barbeques and birthday parties, and establishing connections through social platforms like Facebook.
While this avenue presents opportunities, it’s not without risks, as you start with limited knowledge about these families beyond the shared donor. Nevertheless, proactive measures can be taken to establish healthy boundaries and ensure the well-being of both yourself and your children.
Outside of Australia, direct access to sperm from these banks mentioned above is not feasible, unless one undergoes overseas treatment. In Australia, fertility clinics must establish agreements with international sperm banks to facilitate the importation of sperm. This necessity arises from legislative requirements governing the storage and treatment of donor sperm. For instance, in Victoria, the Assisted Reproductive Treatment Act of 2008 prohibits the transportation of donated gametes, including sperm or embryos derived from donated gametes, into or out of Victoria without written approval from the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Authority (VARTA).
The acquisition of donor sperm can be a costly endeavour. Typically, clinics charge approximately $1,000 per vial of sperm.
Donor Screening and Profiles
Many Australian clinics import their sperm through Xytex (www.xytex.com) from the USA. Those who use Xytex are provided information about their donor such as:
Certain clinics provide limited information about their donors, including details such as race, hair and eye color, and occupation, often without accompanying photos. Personally, I found it crucial to know not only what the donor looked like but also details about their occupation and interests, considering the donor would have no contact with my child. While some individuals may not be concerned about the donor’s physical appearance, I deemed it significant.
Determining how much information you wish to have is a highly personal decision. Take the time to thoroughly consider your preferences and discuss them with your partner, if applicable, and seek insights from lesbian friends who have undergone a similar process. Once you’ve decided on the level of detail you desire about your donor, you can then select a fertility clinic that aligns with your criteria.
When you’re ready to proceed with insemination at your chosen fertility clinic, you’ll receive a list of potential donors to choose from. Typically, you’re asked to select your top three donors from the provided list. It’s essential to note that these donor lists are likely to change each month as donors approach their limits with regard to the number of women and families they can assist.
How many people use the same donor?
There are various reasons for imposing legal restrictions on the number of pregnancies using the same donor. A notable instance in 2011 highlighted the consequences of the absence of such limitations in the United States and Canada when a Toronto man, conceived with donor sperm, discovered he had a staggering 1,000 siblings. Fertility specialists emphasized the risks associated with unintentional half-sibling relationships, posing concerns about birth defects and potential emotional trauma if these connections were discovered. Moreover, the proliferation of genetic problems from a single donor could be a significant issue, especially if the donor is unaware of the extent.
Each Australian state and territory has set limitations on how many women can utilize the same donor. In March 2016, the Assisted Reproductive Technology Amendment Bill 2016 (NSW) passed in the Lower House, redefining the 5-woman limit to a 5-family limit to accommodate the needs of lesbian families. Previously, both partners in a lesbian relationship were considered separate entities concerning donor sperm access, counting as two women. With the new legislation, lesbian couples are now recognized as one family unit when using the same donor.
Presently, fertility clinics manage donor records as there is no centralized registry. The Assisted Reproductive Technology Amendment Bill 2016 aims to allow individuals conceived via donor eggs or sperm in NSW to access information about their donor, excluding the donor’s names.[iii] This amendment will also enable fertility clinics to manage records of children conceived before 2010.[iv] Some states, like Victoria, already maintain a centralized database of donor information.
In different states, the regulations vary for the number of women or families that can use the same donor:
The ACT, NT, QLD, and TAS lack legislation specifying the number of donors, relying on national ethics guidelines, and clinic-specific regulations. While there’s usually no limit on the number of children per family born from a donor, this may differ by state. It is advisable to check with your fertility clinic.
These regulations typically apply when using an unknown donor from a clinic. Still, the law extends to known donors, even though there’s no legal restriction on the number of children a man can father through sexual intercourse with different women.
Due to stricter regulations surrounding sperm donors and a child’s right to know their biological heritage, most Australian states permit the use of a sperm donor who consents to be contacted when the child turns 18. Checking with your fertility clinic for specific information in your state is recommended.
If your partner becomes pregnant with a donor, and you intend to use the same sperm for a later pregnancy, considering a round of IVF to freeze embryos is an option, ensuring access to the same donor even if the limit is reached before your subsequent pregnancy. Additionally, it may be prudent to purchase extra vials of sperm for future use, as clinics may exhaust their supply. Although storing sperm incurs fees (around $150 for six months), it offers assurance for future family planning.
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